Driving With Diligence
Be the responsible one
This post is strictly for new Drivers, I have come full circle with the old adage, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. This adage is greatly personified in driving. I’m a people watcher, been that way all my life, that’s how I avoided trials and errors. The average Driver gets his Driving Licence on minimal skills and perform with the same amount of skills for the rest of his life. The average person does not do self evaluation in all aspects of their lives, so why should they evaluate their Driving.
Most Drivers operate on a wing and a Prayer, until they are involved in a Catastrophic accident. Sometimes that doesn’t change their poor driving habits. Sometimes it takes been removed from the Vehicle by the Jaws of life, sometimes that doesn’t help. You the new Driver needs to make a commitment to yourself to keep learning, improving and honing your driving skills as I have for forty five years. Those actions have kept me and many others alive over the years.
I have driven Commercially for many years, eight hours a day behind the wheel puts you at a greater risk than commuting for one hour. What you do in that one hour puts you at greater risk than myself driving eight hours a day. When I am driving my personal vehicle from New York to Florida I only stop for one hour or less rest periods.
Yet your one hour puts you at greater risk than me.Why? Because you do stupid things like speeding, cutting off people within two or less car lengths, barreling, messing with the radio Texting and a hundred things that takes your concentration from the Road. What I am saying is don’t drive like your Parents and their parents. Automobile fatalities rarely decrease, even with Vehicles that stops themselves. In conclusion be the Driver
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Communicating with your Kids can be the greatest learning experience for both of you. Remember a while back I told you that kids do not learn values, they absorbs your values. It’s the same with teaching. You don’t browbeat them you communicate, as in listening, asking questions, interjecting your thoughts and making requests not demanding and making ultimatums and flying off the deep end. If tantrums develope take control as a good mediatior does barter back and forth like a good mediatior, find a common ground, be the negotiatior. You are trying to have them coming to the table of discussion. Not two people ranting and raving. When it gets to that point nothing is being accomplished except resentment.
When your Kids screw up the worst thing you can do is act harshly and not understandingly, many times they know immediately that they messed up and wish they could turn back the hands of time. Now that you agree on something would you think it harsh of me to have your gamebox for a week or two. Not like I did when the Boys were thirteen refused to listen to their Mother’s and my request that they should make it home within an hour or two after school dismissed. Why? nothing good comes from hanging in the streets, this is the voice of experience, at fourteen I was smoking Weed and drinking, we were only concerned for their safety.
I bought them expensive 15 speed Bikes, pushed to my limits, with them coming home 5-6 maybe 7. I destroyed the Bikes which I regret to Today. That’s not how you do it Lashing Out . If I had genuinely Burrow into their reasoning to find Root Cause, I would have known that the Boys had a close knit group among tow or three Boys. Sort of a Think Tank like I had at seventeen. All the Boys were likeminded about standing a cut above the rest. Blind me did not see that our job was done, if I had communicated I would have learned that. The Boys were hanging with the right People, they weren’t smoking Marijuana and drinking as I did at their age.
I was so Paranoid about them doing the same things I did at their age, rationality was not in my Vocabulary. Over the years I developed great trust in them, communicating was easy. Even in everyday life I found that positive Strokes worked way better than being confrontational. My Mother was one that was a master at communicating with positive Strokes, for instance caught me at fourteen with Drugs, she would say ” you don’t want to grow up to be a Bum do you” I would much prefer you growing up to be someone respectable and smart, Drugs are for losers. With an approach like that I would prefer getting smacked than being called an Idiot in a nice way.
The ‘Good Enough’ Mother
By Sheila Quirke
I’ve been stewing about this post for months. MONTHS, people. I wanted it to be perfect: Clear. Concise. Informative. Witty. Earnest. Knowing. Comforting. Wise.
My need for perfection is completely counterproductive to this discussion and a direct slap in the face of my intent, but it took me until just this second to realize that. What can I say? I’m slow like that sometimes. Settle in, folks, and let’s chat, mother to mother, mother to father, parent to parent, failure to failure.
Once upon a time there was a man named Donald Winnicott. He was a pediatrician and psychoanalyst in mid-20th century Britian. For psychology wonks like me, he is a rock star. I learned about him in graduate school and he changed my life for the better. He’s not cool enough to have cured cancer, but his theories were significant enough to include in my wedding vows. And that tells you something about me — I included psychoanalytic theory in my marriage vows. God bless Mary Tyler Dad.
This man taught me everything I know about mothering.
Winnicott developed a theory in 1953 called the ‘Good Enough Mother.’ Now before I upset any Dads in the house, know that this theory, in my belief, applies to you as well. But in 1953, there weren’t a hell of a lot of stay-at-home dads running around. And those that did exist were probably shunned a bit. So please understand Winnicott’s language and theories through their historical context.
In a nut-shell and in Winnicott’s own words:
A mother is neither good nor bad nor the product of illusion, but is a separate and independent entity: The good-enough mother .. starts off with an almost complete adaptation to her infant’s needs, and as time proceeds she adapts less and less completely, gradually, according to the infant’s growing ability to deal with her failure. Her failure to adapt to every need of the child helps them adapt to external realities.
The failure Winnicott refers to is not specific to bad things that mothers do that damage their children, but instead, the perception of the child as the child grows and develops that Mom is no longer able to “fix” everything or make it all better. No parent can ever meet every single need of a child from the child’s point of view. If this were true, the toddler temper tantrum would not exist. Think about those states of mind kids get into with the dramatic mood swings and crazy demands. No way in freaking hell that those whims should be catered to by a parent, hence the concept of a parent’s “failure.”
When I first read this theory, I was about as far away from parenting as one could get. I was single, living in a dimly lit studio apartment in Chicago, working half-time and going to graduate school full time. The whole concept of parenting was not on my radar. I was in my mid-20s and way more interested in dating, clubbing, learning and, as I fondly like to say, “developing a personality.” Because I was such a squirrel growing up — no interest in sex, drugs, or rock and roll — I embraced the late bloomer thing fully at this stage. So, yeah, parenting was not on my agenda.
But those words — good enough — spoke to me in a way that made an impression. I carried them with me, mentally, and applied them as needed. The graduate school mantra of “turn something in,” regarding papers, etc. was nothing more than “good enough” applied to course work. The Christmas gifts hastily purchased and wrapped just moments before they were opened were “good enough.” Throwing all my laundry into one load was “good enough,” as clean skivvies were more valued than spending $ on small loads of properly-sorted piles.
After Mary Tyler Dad proposed to me, I applied the concept of “good enough” to our wedding planning — nothing fancy, nothing spectacular, no Bridezilla here. Truth be told, Mary Tyler Dad was way more freaked out on our wedding day than I was. The food was okay, the dress was acceptable, the wine was passing. Somehow, though, the total effect was sublime.
‘Good enough’ had served me well in the planning of the wedding, so I decided to integrate it into my marriage by vowing to be the “good enough wife and mother.” I take my vows seriously. Irish sentimentalist that I am, I laminated copies for Mary Tyler Dad and I right after the honeymoon that we both carry in our wallets. I wanted those words to be more than fancy promises, so my vows were about Cheerios, work-life balance and good enough wifing and mothering.
The concept frees me with its liberation from expectations. I never have to be perfect, I only have to be good enough. If you read further into Winnicott’s theory, you learn that striving for perfection is a sure path to screwing your kids up in epic proportions.
Something else to recognize is that my version of good enough is going to be vastly different than your version of good enough. What is acceptable to me just might be considered neglect by others. And what you consider standard practice is something I might never condone for Mary Tyler Son. That sounds extreme, but my infamous Facebook car seat debacle was proof that parenting standards are hard core personal.
My point is this: Embrace the concept of “Good Enough.” Breathe it in, breathe it out. Let it wrap around you and soothe your tired, worried, guilty soul. You will fail your child. You will. It will happen. Some of us do it daily. Some more spectacularly than others. What Winnicott tells us though, assures us from his mid-century psychoanalytic throne, is that it is okay. Everything is going to be okay.
My Name is Anthony Dixon the forerunner to this Website is savingkidssouls.com the site is lost, lets pickup where we left off. There is no stronger Force than Will.
They absorb our values
Fatherly , Contributor
Fatherly is a publication for modern fathers looking to make the best of a good situation
Younger Siblings Teach Older Siblings Empathy, Study Confirms
Scientists have finally figured out what younger siblings do, other than demand attention.
03/05/2018 10:55 am ET
Baby siblings teach their older brothers and sisters empathy, new research reveals. Until now, younger kids have generally been regarded as attention hogs who learn plenty from their older siblings but don’t give back much. But this study, published in Child Development confirms that younger siblings ensure their big brothers and sisters don’t grow into big assholes — no easy task.
“Although it’s assumed that older siblings and parents are the primary socializing influences on younger siblings’ development, but not vice versa, we found that both younger and older siblings positively contributed to each other’s empathy over time,” study coauthor Marc Jambon, postdoctoral fellow at the University of Toronto, said in a statement.
Prior sibling studies have disproportionately focused on the influence of older brothers and sisters, probably because their impact is most obvious. As one review of literature notes, studies have shown that older siblings influence everything from their younger siblings’ motor development to their risk of smoking later in life. And although isolated studies have tried to pin down effects that younger siblings have on their older siblings, the influence of baby brothers and sisters remains elusive.
For this new study, Jambon and colleagues recruited a diverse group of 452 Canadian sibling pairs between the ages of 18 months and four years. At the start of the study, individual researchers assessed children’s baseline empathy levels by visiting the kids at home and then pretending to hurt themselves or break a cherished item. As the researchers communicated their distress, they recorded how the children reacted. Eighteen months later, the researchers returned to see how a year and a half of living with a younger sibling had affected these children.
Until now, younger kids have generally been regarded as attention hogs who learn plenty from their older siblings but don’t give back much.
Even after controlling for parenting style, demographic characteristics, and sibling relationship quality, they found small but statistically significant increases in empathy eighteen months later. “These findings stayed the same, even after taking into consideration each child’s earlier levels of empathy and factors that siblings in a family share – such as parenting practices or the family’s socioeconomic status – that could explain similarities between them,” Jambon said.
One odd exception — older sisters did not appear to experience increased empathy after 18 months living with their little brothers, specifically. The researchers aren’t sure why older sisters and younger brothers buck the trend, and recommend that future studies dive into the question of how complex sibling dynamics and different family structures may result in varying levels of empathy.
How Newborn Babies Understand And Display Empathy
How To Build Empathy In Your Fundamentally Selfish Toddler
Cross-Cultural Study Shows How Empathy In The U.S. Compares To The Rest Of World
Driving with Dilligence
the Life you save may be your own
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To Your Own Self Be Real
Pretending can consume an entire life, it started when we are children, we play house she was the momma you were the poppa, you were the bad guy I was the good guy. fine and dandy what else are kids going to do but emulate others, the sad part is it never ends. Now you reach adolescent and the pretense grows into juvenile delinquent because you are pretending that you are cool and you know everything. Still it doesn’t end, a cool teenager who knows everything is dangerous to themselves and others because puberty is coming to an end and pretending to be a man is the ultimate pretense. You can make Babies but a man stands up to his responsibilities and stands by his woman, sometimes to the end.
Now you are a player you pretend to be someone trustworthy and caring while you pretend with the concubine that you are serious about them while your eyes are glued on their girlfriends. So far nothing about you is real, you deceive your parents by undermining their wisdom, and those that live lifestyles you should avoid, you emulate pretending to be them.( cats in the cradle, I’m going to be just like you Dad) a deserter and an abuser. Where does the pretending ends, it doesn’t, you pretend to do better than your means hocked to your eyeballs keeping up with the Kardashian pretending to live a picture perfect lifestyle even though you know it’s only Hollywood life, make believe. My God will the real you please stand up.
The rest of your life you continue the Sham that you are better than your fellow man while you pretend to believe in God and is quick to kill to make a point. You profess your Love only to end in deceit, you take a Job to serve the People only to have them serve your pretentious and deceptive ideals. You pretends to serve God but the Devil is your master ( many will profess my name) I once knew a Preacher and a Deacon who bragged of their conquest among the Congregation. Years ago a church going God fearing man killed his wife and his Minister, I wonder how long he endured the deception before he lost his way. Even since childhood when I was not worthy of being a Christian Woman’s child I never pretended to be an Angel, I left that to the Hypocrites.
When I grew to be a Man I chose to be Real, I did unto others and expect likewise, I commanded respect for who and what I portrayed myself to be. I chose one Woman and over thirty seven years I stayed the course, never once unfaithful. When you tell lies, each time you try to cover your tracks you dig a deeper Hole. After a while the broken hearts, broken mind spirit and souls you put in that hole forms a mound to the high Heaven’s. To survive in a world of deception you need to read more than just print, body language is highly underrated. In High School one of my English Literature Teacher constantly challenged me to tell her what is the Author not saying, she taught me how to live in a deceptive World.
Later on in life I once told my supervisor that I could spot a slacker one mile in the Fog, she didn’t believe me. She got promoted to regional manager and was fired in six months. If you can read body language it becomes your Lighthouse in a storm of deception. Something I read one the subject goes, it is important to understand the role that deception plays in our emotional lives, because it impedes self understanding and the formation of justified beliefs about ourselves, others and the world as a whole. Deception inhibits our attempt to become more reflective in our understanding, clarifying and evaluating our emotions. Self deception and willful ignorance pose a serious impediment to reflective cognitive affective and conative growth. It also inhibits our attempt to make more reflective evaluations of our institutions, social practices and ideologies that shape and are shaped by our self interpretations. Meaning that deception screws you up and all around you. In the end I say live the life and be proud of what you are.
When Kids kill their Parents it is called Patricide, Filicide describe a deliberate act of parents killing their infant child, other than murderous little Critters . Every time I read one of these heinous stories it involves teenage parents shaking, smothering or beating the life out of some poor infant that wouldn’t stop crying. This type of parenting occurs when immature Teenagers who could not wait to grow up and live the adult life , which comes with responsibility, again that word. My Blogs are crawling with the word Responsibility. Raising two teenage boys by herself, my mother told us that it was a struggle raising us, and she was not about to raise our children.
Her advice was, when you are out there feeling your Oats thinking you are a Man, don’t forget to keep your Drawers up. That was the best Sex Talk a mother could have with their teenage sons. considering that at fourteen I thought I was a man. When I was eleven years old a thirteen years old Nymphomaniac introduced me and five other boys to sex, lined up. I wonder what became of her. Probably fifteen kids with Breast hanging to her waist. Regardless the point is that Kids are crawling in the Sack before they learn to read, I know that to be a fact because I met them in High school, illiterate with big Boobs and spandex, school the farthest from their minds. Yet these same people are dropping kids like litter and when they can’t deal with the stress of an infant crying they shake, smother and bat them around like Rag Dolls.
They aren’t ready for the Job of parenting and their Parents never had that sex talk with them. I am not talking about the Birds and the Bees, way too late for that, I am talking about the responsibility that goes with having sex at sixteen with no protection. The consequences are monumental, including diseases no education and no skills to make a living to provide for their indiscretions. When righteous minded people have children they know that basically their lives have stopped. The kids have to eat whether you do or not, they need clothes even if you don’t have, they need care even if you don’t care for yourself. They Cries for no reason, they are like the Boss that you hate, always wet and full of shit, but that’s what crawling in the Sack brings. That one moment of pleasure bring a lifetime of responsibility and neglect of yourself, because they come first in all facets of your life.
Immature children having babies don’t know this. When I was seventeen I observed a sixteen years old mother made a bed on the Floor placed her infant child on it and went out dancing on a Saturday night. What did I know at seventeen that I should have called child welfare agencies. These are the same people who shake their babies violently when they cries continuously till they are dead. I wrote about Annie the love child of two eighteen years old Kids, thirteen years later from being raised by her single mom and the resentment of not being able to see her Dad who she was crazy about.
Annie was so rebellious and prone to trouble, she was one step away from becoming the ward of the juvenile justice system. That’s what happens when Kids have kids. In my neck of the woods 14, 15 and sixteen years old Kids losing their lives in a fiery crash at 4: 30 am after a night of stealing cars and racing them at speeds exceeding 100. That’s what you get from kids having kids, their Parents who are too busy living their own shoddy lives to know where their 14 year old is at 4:30 Sunday morning. Allowing them to run wild to their deaths at fourteen, is just as bad as shaking them to death at six months old. I am not being judgmental or critical, just angry that we are not having one of the most important conversation with kids. Letting them know that being sexually active comes with a very big price.
Day to Day routine can quickly become a Rut, rudiments give structure, if your routine is structured in a positive and diversified way, you are moving forward. When you are in a rut and the last week or month is a carbon copy of the last, you need to do something different, especially if you are not satisfied with the way your life is going. People who do things the same way all the time looking for different results are looking through rose colored glass. It’s not going to happen, if you are in a job that all your efforts go unnoticed and unrewarded while others less deserving moves forward. You are in a Den of Nepotism.
If you are there for fifty years and your efforts keep moving the company forward all you can expect is Crumbs. You need to break the cycle, the World is full of corruption, why would the workplace be different. When I worked for Solomon Brothers, It was public knowledge that John Gutfreund made 12 million in salaries and another twelve in Bonus. My first year bonus in a low level Position was 8 thousand dollars and John knew who I was and always spoke. This was not a union Job but we all shared the spoils of profit. Not so for the majority of other Companies that I have worked for, one of them made 100 million in profit one year and the spoils were only divvy at the top. Companies like that as long as you are employed you should always be looking to jump Ship. When you are in a rut with Companies like that for twenty five years they are always looking to replace you with fresh blood to usurp them the same way that they did you.
People like that aren’t looking out for your best interest, that is your Job. I am not asking for a share of the company or a percentage of the profit, just to be recognized and rewarded accordingly. Sometimes the same situation exist at home, you are neglected, undermined and taken for granted. Great moments and great sex is a distance occurrence, your Dog gets more attention than you. Again you are in a rut, you can’t leave but you can’t stay, I am not a marriage counselor, I can’t tell you what to do but a blind man can tell you that something is wrong. In an earlier Blog titled Stand up Dad Phil raised his two daughters after their mother ran out of their lives with another man, abandoning the family. He went above and beyond in the Job of raising two Girls, put them through College living in a Condo he bought so they didn’t have to live in a Dorm.
Those girls made his Life a living Hell while growing up, treated him as if he was the one who abandoned them. In gratitude, when they graduated they moved back Home to finish him off with Stress. They disrespected his new Wife with confrontation daily, with one goal in mind, to split them up. They could not bare to see the Will split three ways and the Mansion going to the Wife. I told Phil many times that he should put them out on the Street, he never listened, to the point where his home life caused him his job. I guess his rut succumbed him. All that I am saying is that there comes a point in every life when change must come, especially when your sanity takes a beating. You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine
Having Children later in life can be a blessing and a burden. It’s a blessing if you’ve been tryi
for a long time without success. The burden comes when you treat the child the same way parents of an only child does. Spoiling them rotten and let them walk all over you for eighteen years. My mother had me at thirty two years old. Despite all advice to abort she gave me life. The consensus was that she was too old which made full term dangerous. She was in the prime of her life socially and otherwise, so I understand the burden I created being a rambunctious child getting into everything and trying to end my life with hijinks starting at two all the way to fourteen. I was a full time job. At this point in my life I look back and regret usurping her life the way I did with constant worries. All in all to the end I made her proud by making her last days the best they could be, with progressive Dementia all the way to full blown.
The thing that gets me most about kids are the way in which some of them grow up with a bastard like mentality, makes you wonder did they switched babies in the Hospital. You give them all the love and care, sometimes way past the time that they should still be living off you, and when you grow old and need them they turn their backs on you. Don’t these people know that there’s a God and that he sees all. Ok so you are not in tuned with your spirituality and you are not concerned. Well then my friend let me tell you about a thing called Karma, it’s alive and well, and one day when your world turns upside down with the trimmings of misfortune and old age, don’t ask why me. Penny was a resident in a Nursing Home where I worked, all through her youthful years while she built the family business to a fifty million dollars fortune, she rode the backs of the little people who were the lifeblood of the business success like a Witch on a Broom and Whip in her hand.
The bad part about this is that she never shed her Reptilian approach of how she treated people. She used to call the entire Staff Sons of Bitches of Bastards, needn’t I tell you how they reciprocated. One day while sitting in her Wheelchair in the Hallway she had an accident, the entire Hallway stunk to the high Heaven’s. Instead of changing her, the Aid she had just abused with venomous vulgarity wheeled her into her Room and closed the door for her to permeate in her own stench. Can you imagine being worth 50 million and to come to an end like that.
Her own children abandoned her. To the end they didn’t even visit her once a month, all the time waiting for her to die so they could spend her money. On the other hand I remembered all my mother had done and instilled in me, I visited her seven days a week, and spoiled her with tasteful food that she never got from the Nursing Home Cooks. I didn’t sit In the room and read a newspaper ignoring her like she was inanimate, I engaged her with meaningful conversation to keep the Dementia at bay. In the end I can only hope that someone remember all the good that I have done in my lifetime, and when I am sitting in a Nursing Home writing Blogs bring me a Whopper and Fries.
Most eight year old Boys are only are only interested in playing with their toys and their Dog. Not me when I was eight I was a mother’s worst nightmare. Once my mother was cooking, she walked away from the kitchen for two minutes, that was all the time I needed to create catastrophe. Inquisitive me had to know what was cooking in the boiling hot Pot, pulling it down on myself causing third degree burn to the entire lower half of my body. At eight I was into everything that spelled danger. Several months earlier while walking the Beach I met a man called Lefty, the way he came by his name is nothing short of a horror movie.
Lefty was an avid Fisherman who preferred big Game fishing. One day while fishing in sixty feet depths a Marlin grab the bait connected to 100lb test line, lefty and I must have been born under the same Zodiac sign, the monster fish snapped the pole and took off still on the Hook. Lefty was of my same Heart, he refused to cut the line and live to fight another day. He wrapped the hundred pounds test around his arm just below the elbow. Well now you know how he got his name, the line cut straight through the bone like a Saw.
At eight I was an avid Fisherman lefty had taught me all I needed to know how to catch fish using only a hook and line the same way he lost his arm. It was danger in the make for a child like me, thank God I could never cast my line beyond the Shores. One day while I was fishing the Shore, Lefty’s Boat rolled ashore dragging the ocean floor, the reason why the Boat was dragging is that Lefty had caught a four hundred pounds Marlin. He threw me the morning line that almost killed me trying to secure the Boat, screaming help from the top of my lungs.
Help soon arrived to get the monster fish out of the Boat. When it landed on the beach with my clothes all wet from going out to get the rope to tie the Boat, I could not tell if I had peed myself with excitement. This was Baby’s big day out, as soon as that fish hit the Sand lefty was all over it with his Machete cutting sixty pound stakes. Whoever was there took home a sixty pound marlin steak. As if I didn’t work hard enough securing the Boat, now I had to get this slab of fish home all sixty pounds of me. I had no intention of abandoning the spoils that I had worked so hard for, I dragged it through the Sand and dirt the entire hundred yards home. I guess it was that early on that Mother knew that I was happening guy, that was afraid of nothing and probably would die early from adventurism. Luckily enough the following years didn’t kill me so today I live three miles from the Gulf of Mexico. Coincident? I’m here looking for my Moby.
Live Love Laugh
Teaching our kids to live, as in embracing life, is something just about all parents overlook. We teach them how to walk, talk, learn and make a living, however very few are taught to tap into their creativity, their spirituality and their spiritual being which is their soul. Ask any artistic people and they will tell you that along the way of being creative they stumbled upon their spirituality. Everyone knows that education is a fundamental tool. But very few are aware that being artistic can introduce you to the inner person that most people live a lifetime and never met. Religion is also a venue to spirituality, your soul. Like the Bible says, what good is a man if he Gains the World and lose his Soul. A lot of people have no soul to lose, they were never introduced to it, they never knew it existed.
Some of us are born perceptive, and enlightened others have to be led, being artistic sometimes leads us to our perspectives. When you know how to look inside, there is a whole world in there. What you find in there, everything from empathy to the gift of love, being able to posses, accept and give it. Some infants needs no prodding or encouragement to walk, talk, swim and a do lot of things, they are natural born achievers, some need encouragement, most of us you have to lead us to the water. It’s the same with living. A Fish swims, that is what they do with infinity until they are caught or eaten by a bigger Fish. Man was not made to swim he is expected to take advantage of all that life offers, it is too short and unpredictable to swim your way through it, in a continuous motion of nothingness only to make money and survive. Personally I believe that we do ourselves a great disservice only using 10% of our Brain’s capacity, in that case it should not be too taxing to learn a skill and a craft unilaterally. For instance a carpenter who plays an instrument and write Poetry.
What magnetized me to this ideology is, in my hometown of Tampa we have a Lawyer who is also a Doctor. He is way out left field with the concept that I have in mind of being creative as well as having a skill. He has two skills, even though some Doctors are forced to be creative in their practices. A lot of us learned to play an instrument early in life, by the time we grow up it’s only a distant memory, because We never learned the importance of creativity in our lives and where it could lead us. Twenty seven years ago I started two Manuscripts that were never completed. Well anyway you know where I am coming from with this way of thinking. What I am really saying is, if your parents didn’t instigate you to be creative and tapping into the inner you don’t follow the path. I once heard a story of a woman dying in an apartment similar to a homeless dwelling under a Bridge except her dwelling was in an expensive apartment building in it was 47 million dollars and feces everywhere, not having that money in a Bank said she worshipped it, the poor thing had lost her soul and mind, Howard Hughes died in similar situations. There you have it in a nutshell, there is so much more to life.
Forgive Me Lord
It’s eight A.M. Sunday morning, I look at the beautiful day that was unfolding over Tampa. The weather was perfect, I thought to myself this Would be a perfect day to go Fishing, but I knew that could never be, because this was just another work day for me. Working in the Resort business don’t allow me to be off weekends, you take whatever day given to you. Then I felt a moment of disgust, I thought to myself that I should be going to Church to give God thanks for all he’s given and done for me.
Then I began a silent prayer, forgive my in-gratitude that you have blessed me with another day to spread enlightenment to my readers and fortunate to have great health at sixty four years old, one month away from my next Birthday and is able to continue working till my Health says otherwise. This is the focal point of this Blog, my Wife is forceful in matters of Health, she retired from the V.A. Hospital after twenty five years of seeing it all. Without her supervision I would not go to the Doctor every six months. On our last two check up our Doctor showered us with congratulations as to the conditions of our health and told us that she wished all her Patients were as healthy as we were.
In my Prayers I ask the Lord to forgive me for my ungrateful approach of self destruction by smoking Cigarettes since age fourteen and still have not come to my crossroads. If I didn’t smoke I probably would live to be 100, my mother lived to be 97. I can’t in no stronger term vanquish you my young friends about picking up this dirty habit and to let you know that I find this Addiction to be as strong as any Drug addiction. As I continued praying I ask the Lord to help me to quit before I have wasted the great health that he’s given me to experience Longevity. A moment later I picked up my Phone and began to read Google news, there I stumbled upon the story of Britney Beadle .
This is how it went . Britney Beadle does not put off anything for tomorrow. “Do it now”she advises. Live in the moment and enjoy your Life. In May 2015 Britney was diagnosed metastatic (stage 4) breast cancer, at the age of 18. I felt I was alone, Britney says. There are some young women in their 20s who I found, but still no one who was my age young, with breast cancer. By sharing her journey she hopes to help others in a similar position. Whenever I have to go through a new treatment that’s really hard- like when I had radiation to my brain- I think, OK, this sucks. I have to do this. But you know what? I get to live. Then I thought to myself my God how callus I am with the perfect health given to me and how for fifty years I have tried my best to throw it away. Once again thank you Lord and forgive foolish me
Kids Absorb Your Values
An agnostic believes in nothing, a fool is someone who knows all, yet knows nothing. As far as I am concerned , they are one and the same. They go from the neighborhood to the office to high places in the World and spread their ignorance. For instance on a College Campus, a young ignoramus gets up on stage and begins to talk out of his Ass about Supremacy and separatism. Dimwits have always dwell on the trivialities of our differences and the need for Purging. Intolerance is the Backbone of a Moron. I lived in Pennsylvania where Skinhead mentality ruled, the few God fearing good people are the minority. A coworker related a story of intolerance to me yesterday that prompted this Blog. It appears that his girlfriend and his Dad had a
conversation about something, the Dad didn’t agree with her point of view.
The ignorant Dad chose to belittle and berated the young woman, at one point calling her a Bitch. Can you imagine, we are living in the twenty first century and two people with different views can’t engage in a debate without pulling out the Swords and Daggers of intolerance and begins to carve each other up with belligerence. That is not how civilized people do things, if necessary you walk away from the conversation, don’t forget he who fights and runs away lives to fight another day. In today’s society with every fool owning a gun, a mishap on the Roadways and the skies are filled with unnecessary Slugs and a young College student is dead. As it did in Pennsylvania in a Road Rage incident where the Moron shot and killed a College student, after she cut him off, then fled as most cowards with his mindset always do after screwing up.
My God we’ve come far in our evolving from the Caves, or did we. Smile when you say that stranger. On a stage at F.S.U the same Adolf Hitler look alike and think alike who almost started a Civil war in Charlottesville was given permission to spew his rhetoric of Racism and hate, to a campus audience. Not that they supported his Crap, but to avoid litigation of the first amendment. It is irrelevant whether a fallen tree makes a sound, what is relevant, is that there were no reaction to the diatribes. This time there were no bloodshed, Civilized America had spoken to an uncivilized Speaker. The mentality of the Civil War was beaten down with the mentality of Free speech and Tolerance even for a young Ignoramus. That is my America, Land that I love, Land of the free home of the Brave.
There were peaceful protests and nobody called anyone a Bitch. What I love about this Country is that someone like me can write about my distrust and disgust for the Government and not taken out in the middle of the night by the Secret service and never again to be heard from. You don’t know how lucky you are Boy, back in the USSR. Please don’t let the past remind us of what were, move out the square. Life is short and filled with uncertainty don’t let there come a time for us to be forced to unite and fight the enemy . No better time to unite instead of waiting till Bin Laden’s fifteen Children’s come calling. Don’t forget your Children are always watching and absorbing so they can teach your Values to their Children.
A Heron with feathers platinum gray , on an Autumn day with the Skies over Gray. Chose me to be a friend . A Species of the wild, to them Humans aren’t trusted, to us they become Pets . allows me to photograph almost to the point of touch. After I had scared it to death, all over it with Camera Lens , then decided to perch on the Hedge fifteen feet away, there he stayed the entire time I write this Blog. Making eye contact with me like a chicken hawk, or an intrigued Eagle.
Not mad not aggressive only intent of letting me know that we’re all here on this planet together, and he can’t trust me to perch on my shoulder, without fear of me doing the right thing. Thanks for enlightening me as to your trust however small. I decided to push my lenses in video, fed him with Bread which he didn’t need, he walked away from me to return this time within ten feet . where he hung until I left. Is this love that I am feeling. After a while he ate the Bread because he was comfortable that I would not do anything to hurt him. You hear stories about people making pets out of wild animals such as Tigers and you wonder how could they trust them. Well my friend the shoe is on their foot trusting us.
We are the only species that kill for fun and for no other reason than uncontrolled rage, and hate so why should they ever trust us. Look at the fine Cats we wear on our backs, the fine Ivory that sits on our shelves. We are forever swimming against the Tide of natural balance. That’s why when a different specie befriends me I shudder with chills knowing that they use their exceptional senses to feel me out and know that they are safe around me, and not judge me to be like all the other rest. I have a long history of being befriended by all God’s creatures, like the time sitting on the River Banks and was surrounded by hundreds of Cardinals who have been known to be aggressive, and not one attacked.
Another time traveling northern Pennsylvania driving a company’s Truck to deliver building supplies to a jobsite in Erie. A Canadian Gross Hawk dive-bombing a prey from high up in the Sky, misjudged the moving truck, slammed into its side bounced off and landed in the Woods. I immediately pulled over and ran to its rescue.
My coworker out of curiosity ran over to the injured Bird, when we caught up to it we were both sharing a sight of wonderment. The Hawk had six feet wingspan and Talons bigger than my big hands. My coworker quickly backed off from helping the wounded Bird, saying this thing will kill us both for fun. As I said before only Humans kill for fun.
I ran to the Truck for water and ice, I have always known how to administer first aid since nine years old. I stuck my hand out to inspire good will, he waived his huge Talon at my hand. I realized that if I was going to help it first I had to get it to trust me. I gave it Water and food, I knew it would enjoy raw Chicken. A bond was now formed, we were now friends, administering first aid was easy. I made a bed in the back of the Truck and place this huge Bird of Prey not worrying that it could cut my throat with one swipe with it’s Talons. I took this majestic and fearsome Bird to the Jobsite, opened the Truck’s gate and everyone Ran. I felt like my name was Tarzan when I extended my hand and this Bird who never before came in contact with a human came to me. He knew that I could be trusted, when it came time to set this majestic creature free, my coworker wanted to keep it as a Pet. I told you that that’s the way Humans are.That is why they don’t trust us. If they can’t domesticate it they Kill it. The Hawk was set free after I told him that having possession of an endangered species carried a five thousand dollars fine and five years in prisons.
Every day I commute my least favorite Road in my travels, US-19. It’s a road that instigates speeding, the lights are approximately one mile apart, the speed limit varies to 55 mph. Not good when you have six or more U turn lanes all within one light. The Roadway is always congested and everyone is always travelling above the speed limit. Smash Ups are daily, injury and fatalities are frequent. A lot of which could be avoided if people traveled in a conscientious state of mind, knowing that each side of the street is lined with Stores. People are always doing stupid things like misjudging the distance of approaching traffic while making U- turns and crossing lanes to get to their destination. putting themselves and others at risk. Just getting to the other side of the road is nothing short of playing a game of chicken. I am a driving enthusiast who appreciate the Automobile and my life, so riding this Road five days a week back and forth is my primary Job. Navigating this treacherous road one hour each way every day become nothing short of a game of skills, and discipline.
By having the use of the internet I surf world wide to see how other Countries fare with their poorly designed roadways and bad drivers who think they are race car drivers, it’s the same everywhere. Why is this? It appears that some people who can’t cut an Onion without cutting off a finger. gets behind the wheel where they develop a Jekyll and Hyde personality. Mild mannered courteous and intellectual, they get behind the wheel and all that change to a rude and abrasive Crud. Young people driving for less than one year, old people driving for fifty years, gets behind the wheel and the reckless speed demon comes out. I have got to tell you Road Maniacs that I have the driving skills to loose the Cops in a chase at speeds exceeding 140 mph yet I am one of the most civilized drivers on the road. Whether I am going five miles or fifteen hundred miles my goal is to get from point A- to point B without a scratch. While the majority of drivers I encounters daily travel on a wing and a prayer.
Driving is something you should excel at from the previous days experiences. Whims and flight of fancies behind the wheel is for fools with total disregard for their lives and yours. One day travelling my least favorite Road, my car driven less than nine thousand miles, it was early afternoon so the road wasn’t congested. On a stretch posted 45 Mph I was doing 55, I looked in my rear view mirror the traffic that was following was more than one mile behind. I decided to change lanes to the middle lane, it appears that this young flighty girl driving a twenty years old Heap must have traveled at eighty Mph to have caught up with me in the short time I looked away from the rear view, now we were both sharing the same Lane. If my car was not equipped with blind spot sensors we both would be dead.
This is the mindless operation of a Car I am always beating the Drum about. They are out there everywhere. So it is for you the contentious driver to always be on the lookout for the people with missing screws. The driving Instructor who crafted my skills told me to always drive like I am the only one who knows what I am doing. Ten minutes after writing this Blog on a trip to the Bank three miles away, on a strip of road posted 35 Mph I see a Tow Truck pulling a newer car out of the Ditch with extensive front end damage. Two minutes later a Car driven by mister Flighty became glued to my bumper with his twenty five years old Heap as if I was Towing him. I put on my emergency flashing lights, he backed off slightly and continued driving in his usual mindless approach. Now at twenty nine thousand miles I still sweat bullets when it leaves the driveway.
If you have been following my Web page you would have noticed that it is filled with mentioning my troubled youth. My goal is to inspire change in young people’s lives and to instigate quality parenting not only for people who have good kids who are capable of raising themselves, but for those who have kids who needs more attention like I did. My Mother made a full time job out of turning my life around from wallowing with the underbellies of society, and she succeeded. If she didn’t when I was seventeen and the Neighborhood Dealer approached me with an offer that I did refused and my cousin accepted the street would have won. My cousin became very wealthy, did fifteen years in Prison, along the way he caught five bullets and is now going blind from a disease that he picked up in Prison.
All parents aren’t cursed with bad ass children but if you do your Job early in their lives, you never have to face the grief my mother did being a good Christian Woman that she was, I went to H.S with a Preacher’s son who was womanizing and abusive. as the saying goes God help those who help themselves. She was in desperate need of his help with me, and he facilitated. Look at the way I turned out, never once arrested, never did one day in Jail, live in a private community that does background check in order for you to live there and well respected by all. I drive expensive cars from earning a honest living, a successful life if you asked me. I take no credit for the way my life turned out. I thank the Lord and you Mom.
That’s why this Blog is dedicated to the kids of Pinellas County. One month ago I posted a Blog titled Dying In the Name of fun three Kids age 14 15 and sixteen lost their lives in a fiery crash while driving in excess of 100 Mph. The County and the general public have been plagued with an epidemic of youthful car thieves, the General consensus is they are bored and it’s all for fun. BS I say to that, back in the my days you steal a Car and straight to the Chop Shop it goes, money in pocket eases the consequence. The Heart of the matter goes to the same reason Kids turn to Gang Life.
They see all the Wealth around them and they develop a defeatist attitude that they are never going to see any of it, so selling Drugs is the only way out. BS again, when I was twenty one Organized Crime scouted me the same way that the Neighborhood Dealer did, offered me four thousand dollars per week to deliver Heroin to Harlem’ s Bodegas, Record Shops and other locations Kilos at a time. My cousin ran Kilos from Florida to New York, that’s what made him rich and got him fifteen years in Prison. The difference between the Kids in Pinellas County, my cousin and I was the woman I called Mom. My Aunt was money hungry she instilled her values in her Kids, they all did jail time except for one. The oldest boy had a mind of his own, so did I. I had the power of Reason I chose to be poor and free also to avoid Bullets.
Most of all mother had instilled Christian Values to live by, foundation to build the Life I now live. Another factor that I attribute Pinellas Kids Hi-jinks to, is their Parents, many of them just kids themselves. Also just grown-up kids themselves who were bad ass themselves who are still living bad lives. Kids learn values by watching the way you live your life. St Petersburg Chief of Police plans to visit with the ones who are locked up to find answers to the problem, I say go visit the parents and see where these kids are coming from, the offenders are in the thousand. I’ll give you 10-1 odds some of these homes one parent is incarcerated or should be. This website tells you over and over anyone can make Babies not all can be good Parents or should be Parents, because they have no values themselves so how can you teach what you don’t know.
I was sixteen when my Mother tried crippling me for coming home five Am drunk and stoned. I have often wondered why she never put me in Juveniles Detention. Years later I realized that she had faith and confidence in me and in her parenting skills. She was Clergy, Cop and Psychologist to me. May God help those lost Souls in Pinellas.
One Reader asked how do I compose myself to write. When I sit down to write it depends on what is going on in my mind. If something is pressing in my thoughts writing blogs about it is easy, I hold a pen and it’s like my thoughts control my hand. Many times I have written a blog without having to stop and think about what goes next. That’s because what’s on my mind whether voluntarily or involuntary, it comes out either verbally or literary that’s what writing is about, not researching others work and putting it to your words. When you do that you’re transcribing.
Blogging is a true form of self expression. What I like most about it is that I can write about people without sounding like a gossip columnist, people make the most interesting subjects, because they are the subject. They go from the very best to the very worst, as the saying goes People makes the world go round. I could be wrong but I believe that when you excel, you are obligated to set standards, especially if you are in the public’s eye or trust. For instance a business Manager, a public accountant or handling public Funds. Let’s not forget about famous Comedians and Movie Moguls. But as the story goes People will always be who they are, untrustworthy and down right Thieves, like the Bank Teller who stole a Nickel, Dime, quarter and so on from every stack until apprehended a hundred thousand dollars later.
They never cease to amaze me and that’s why I will always have something to say. Years ago there was the Dentist who while his Patients were compromised by aesthetics he would further compromise them with a lot of foreplay and hand Jobs, they would wake up hot and bothered. Now he’s sitting in a Jail cell being being bothered by his Cellmates. When I was sixteen I could smell the Gin on my Dentist breath while he butchered me scaring my psych for life. How is that for Hippocratic. Then there was the Pharmacist who turned up dead and buried in Hugo Zelenski’s backyard along with two or more known Drug Dealers, coincident? in all likelihood he was a supplier. I knew Hugo casually never asked him what he did for a living. I would sit and talk about Horses at the Race Track with Hugo, never taught that ten years later I would be writing about him.
People give me things to write about. A Blog about Hugo is in the works, if you read my other Blogs you will see that I have known many people who are newsworthy. So there you have it in a Nutshell, there is always someone waiting around the corner to be written about.
Related Stories about unscrupulous people.
Currently, laws in place to protect child actors and their finances leaves 85% of their earnings up for grabs. And children who appear on reality television shows are, currently, not protected in any way.
Unfortunately, child actors from Hollywood’s past had to learn the hard way that not everyone is looking out for their best interests. Here are child actors whose parents squandered their fortunes.
A child star that the media continues to keep up with is Macaulay Culkin. The cute, fresh face of “Home Alone” stardom has appeared in a number of indie films over the years. But Culkin’s personal life has kept him in the headlines as well.
Culkin’s parents divorced in the late 90s, placing Culkin and his multimillion dollar fortune directly in the middle. After a bitter custody dispute and a fight for control over Culkin’s trust, the family accountant was put in charge until Culkin reached adulthood.
Culkin and his parents are, at present, estranged. But Culkin is no stranger to tabloid headlines. He was in a nine-year relationship with actress Mila Kunis. But after their breakup, Culkin’s health and alleged heroin addiction has come under fire.
Jackie Coogan And The Coogan Law
Discovered by Charlie Chaplin, Jackie Coogan’s appearance in “The Kid” launched a career that would span over fifty years. He had made 19 films before his 18th birthday. And became one of the first heavily merchandised celebrities.
It’s estimated that, as a child star, Coogan made nearly $4 million. Little did he know that his mother and stepfather had squandered his wealth. His mother felt that because Coogan had earned his fortune as a child, she and her husband were entitled to spend the money however they saw fit. She stated, “No promises were ever made to give Jackie anything. Every dollar a kid earns before he is 21 belongs to his parents.” Coogan sued his parent in 1938. And after legal fees, was awarded a mere $126,000.
Coogan’s case got the attention of California local and state governments. And California Child Actor’s Bill, more widely referred to as The Coogan Law, was born. While not perfect, the law requires that a child actor’s employer set aside 15% of the earnings in a trust and codifies work hours and vacation time.
Retired from acting at 22, Shirley Temple was one of the most recognizable names and faces in cinema. Starring in 44 films before the age of twelve, Temple was 20th Century Fox’s biggest box office draw in the 1930s.
Her mother received $250 a week stipend from the studio. And Temple, as a child, only saw less than $20 in pocket money. At the peak of Temple’s career, she commanded $10,000 a week.
So, you can imagine the surprise of Shirley Temple, an adult at the time, when she discovered her accounts only showed $44,000 instead of the $3.2 million she had earned. Her father had allegedly failed to place her earnings as a child star in a court-ordered trust.
In a decade, Mimi Gibson appeared in 35 films and over 100 TV programs. She has been cast opposite Cary Grant, John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara. However, her finances had been substantially dwindled by Gibson’s mother. So much so, that she did not have enough saved for college tuition.
In 1999, Gibson sponsored a California bill that, currently, only allows the trust to be withdrawn from when a minor turns 18. She currently lives a very guarded and private life away from Hollywood.
Best remembered for his role as Arnold Jackson in “Diff’rent Strokes,” Gary Coleman’s relationship with his parents was severely strained. In 1989, Coleman sued his parents and a financial advisor for misappropriating his multi million fortune amassed from the popular TV sitcom. He was awarded $1.3 million, but his later life was plagued with personal and professional misfortunes.
Driving 101/Man And Machine
😐 If Driving bewildered you, terrifies and inhibits you, you need to go back to the drawing board (driving school) explain to them how you feel about driving and ask what can you do to improve your driving skills so you can feel more relaxed behind the wheel . Harboring fears and not addressing them only eats you alive, especially if it’s something that you have to do everyday. How I learned to be totally focused and relaxed behind the wheel, was by carrying one simple taught that my Driving instructor instilled in me. Know where you are on the road at all times, know who’s around you all the time, in front behind and beside. Make sure that your mirrors are properly adjusted, know how to view them moving your head as little as possible by rolling your eyes. When you do have to move your head, don’t stare too long five seconds at fifteen mph can put you on the sidewalk. The trick is to focus beyond your Hood, sometime you need to focus as far as one or more miles down the road to see what’s developing.
Learn how to use your peripheral vision, that helps when some idiot catches up with you, sits on your rear quarter panel and out of the rearview mirror, also known as the blind spot. Seen as how this is turning out to be a driving institutions Blog, we might as well move on to the next step of feeling comfortable behind the wheel. Now we come to giving it gas and breaking. Never overdrive, that happens when you give the engine more gas than is needed to get you from one stop light to the next forcing you to apply your brakes hard.Your Engine has a section called the Combustion chamber, with today’s technology very little gas is needed to achieve performance. The amount of gas you gives it controls your speed, never become gas happy, the more gas you give it makes it harder to stop, putting unnecessary wear on your Brake Pads. In other words when you are driving in City Limits you should never be driving Jack Rabbit style like you are a Taxi driver or an Ambulance Driver. All that does is put you and others at risk if someone isn’t paying attention and drifts in front of you.
I live in Florida we have no fault Insurance and no yearly vehicle inspections, so you never know that you need new brakes until your Front Bumper is embedded in someone’s Trunk. I have traveled just about every State in this country and I have never seen the amount of rear end accident like Florida, everyone overdrives and think that their name is Dale Earnhardt. I know how to make my Engine scream like a Formula one Race Car for twenty five yards and roll to a Stop Sign with minimal break use. It takes years of driving to be able to use your Engine like that without killing yourself, you can’t keep the gas pedal buried until you get to the STOP Sign to find out that you need new brakes. That’s how people gets killed. The trick is flow control and spacing your vehicle that way when a situation develope you never have to jam on your Break, only give it enough gas to stay with the traffic flow. Most people who are gas happy on congested City Streets, are piss poor drivers travelling eleven hundred miles, to tell the truth they don’t have the nerves to take on a trip like that, they take a Plane. I am a driving Fantastic, if I could drive to Europe I would. That’s all the Yapping for now, I will try to expand on this topic at a later date.
As the saying goes, when you assume you make an ass out of you and me. Making assumptions about people is one of the most ignorant way of thinking. People who presume are usually as empty as the Steel Drums that they are beating trying to sound like they know what they are talking about. The other day I was sitting at the Bus stop in front of the Company’s Property smoking a cigarette, smoking is not allowed on property. A beat up rust riddle Mustang drove up, the driver blows his horn and gave me the thumb, as in thumbing a ride, laugh and gunned the engine. Back in the days when I drove heaps I would take that Mustang to the Junkyard. The poor fool taught I was down on my luck and waiting for the Bus, while my SUV one year old sat behind me in the company parking lot.
How crude of people to expound on others misfortune, what if I was genuinely in need of a ride, he teased me and pulled off. People like that would never amount to a hill of Beans. On my Job at the Resort I don’t go around with a sign on my back advertising Blogger/ Website owner so a lot of people assume that I am what I do at the Resort, Guest Co Workers and all. When I open
my mouth they are blown away and ask Man what are you doing here. They don’t know that if I was worth millions I still would be unassuming and Humble, because I am a child of God and so are the people sleeping on sidewalks all over this country, land of abundant wealth. When I see people like that I don’t automatically assume that they are all Alcoholics or that they are all Bums. What I do consider is how did they get there, what are their circumstances and how did they allow themselves to slip through the cracks of Life.
I often wonder where is our spirit of humanity, when IRS allows a Restaurant to write off food thrown in the Dumpster, if they placed it in a Box and gave it to the so called indigent people no write off. I do understand that you don’t want them hanging out around your fine establishment waiting for you to close everyday, but isn’t there something that we can do. Yes there’s something that we can do. One unusually cold day in Clearwater, Headquarters of Scientology I noticed a woman shivering from being outside all day, obviously homeless, I walked over to her took off my brand new Sweatshirt and gave it to her. I felt a shiver came all over me and it was not from the cold. That was only one act of kindness but it’s a start, that was not my only act of kindness and won’t be my last. I could not write off my Sweatshirt because she didn’t have an address, morbid humor on my part, I can laugh at myself but not at their plight. Like Phil said ” just another day in Paradise for you and me”. I am not trying to make anyone uncomfortable or stir conscience I am only responsible for my conscience and my soul when I meet my maker and he ask me why I shunned him dressed as a Beggar.
PS. Thank God for keeping my head above the water.
life is like two nano seconds, it happens way too fast not to seize precious time given to us. In my mind’s eye I still see my first day of school, not paying attention to the teacher, instead I watched the freightliners drifting across the Bay. Then in a flash the years had passed, and the child was now a man raising children of his own and his own childhood had drifted by. When my kids were eleven I went out of my way to provide play time and to make sure they weren’t burning themselves out with school work, what did I know that the sooner you applied yourself to the task, the earlier success can be achieved.
When my hero Mattie Stepanek was eleven he was preparing to die while writing poems and Books. In Matt’s case he was forced to live his days in nano time because his time on this Earth was etched with the urgency of his mortality, that extinguished his light at thirteen. Some of us are blessed or cursed with visions of our mortality, so we make hay while the sun shines. When I was fourteen I was barreling down on my mortality by wanting to live the street life. I once beat a Bully senseless not knowing that his two older brothers seventeen and eighteen had killed many people and that I was next, fate have always been my protective gear like a bullet proof vest, the hands of fate snatched the two executioners up in a hail of bullets before they caught up to me, to extract revenge.
Still oblivious of the urgency of steering the Ship called life fast and straight. High School was one big party it was the age of Disco, party till you drop. Before I knew it the portal for higher learning was closed, a Husband and Father had no time for School. The Seasons had changed. Life comes at you fast, whatever your Hands touch do it with all your might. My life reflects the life of many who took it all for granted, wasted youth can never be relived, not realizing that your lifespan is only a portal that allows you to maximize the time given us all, before it’s closed. Use it wisely before the last grain of sand descends.
That is why I am here to tell, that it is never too early to reach your potential to do great things with your life, the way that God planned it for you. Don’t be distracted by frivolity. Growing up fast and straight at an early age is prodigious and wise. Too many of us live our lives in a childlike wonder where playtime dictates adult life. My friend Mattie had lived four seasons in one early spring. When he Died at thirteen he was an Author, Poet and friends with Presidents. If I knew then what I know now the winter of my discontent would be one of bountiful harvest. Neil Young puts it best when he said it’s better to burn out than fade away.
Toby was born a happy Baby, some babies comes out screaming and kicking all the way to Kindergarten. Not Toby it’s as if he was happy to be here. All that happiness and contentment was about to change for him the day his Dad walked out on his mother. It’s the same old story misery loves company. Toby was the spitting image of his father, that spelled trouble for a child who was to become the recipient of the wrath, from a woman scorned. This is something that have troubled me the better part of my life, someone would have A bug up their Ass about someone or something, and they would take it out on the first person they came in contact with. For instance man who hates his job, instead of finding another one he stays at his place of misery while it eats him alive. Comes home to the ones who love him and make their lives a living hell.
Josh was a hardworking family man, his children were friends of mine, for the entire ten years I associated with them there was not one day that he came home straight from work and didn’t stop at the Bar. Did he hate his Job or his wife. Toby was stuck between a rock and a hard place. The abuse started with her screaming at him for the most trivial of mishaps. The poor kid’s nerves were shot before he started school with a speech impediment. The stuttering began when she asked him a question and didn’t give him time to collect his thoughts and give an answer. By the time he got to Grade School he was an introvert who spoke only when he was spoken to. Kids are more brutal than Adults, some people possess Tact and try not to hurt other people’s feelings whenever possible. Not Kids, maybe because they don’t know any better or weren’t taught early.
The torture he endured at home began to multiply at school by heartless kids who taunted him about his stuttering. When I was twelve my friend Charles was a gifted student, he stuttered also. I learned to listen and give him all the time in the world to get it out. The other kids in school never messed with him, because they knew that once the stuttering stopped, a point was well made. Not so in Toby’s case when he didn’t get it out fast enough the crude abandoned woman he called mom would ask him what! are you stupid, the kids were equally brutal, they called him Tu-Tu-B. With years of repressed anger one day he went berserk on one of his tormentors at school. He was now labeled aggressive and antisocial. Isn’t that always the case someone constantly pokes you with a stick one day you take it from them and hit them over the head, now you are the bad one.
Toby was poked at home, in the streets and at school someone going Postal was being created. Whenever I hear about someone going crazy and taking up a vantage location high up with enough firearms to start a war killing as many as they can before the cops kill them, I think of Toby and how many more are there waiting to strike. In that case there’s no end in sight, because making other people’s lives a living hell is a national epidemic, at school at work and at home. Today among teenagers we have what’s called the Beat down, as many as eight against one. It appears to me that we are creating these monsters with the lack of humanity and incivility. Cold headedness is the norm, once having a conversation at work about the Homeless people, a coworker nineteen years old asked me in a snide way, what would you have us do with them Tony. I said to myself welcome to the future.
Living A Lie
The mendacity of thinking that you are better than someone else for whatever reason is nothing short of blind ignorance. For instance you are a blonde blue eyed Hunk whose family manufactured five Dollars Cuban Cigars, went to the finest Schools, had upstairs and downstairs maids. If you go to the Bathroom and wiped your Ass the as I do, dispel the thought that you are better than I am. Better off, yes better Educated yes more privileged yes. That is the extent of your superiority. Jose R. Was a man with the features of a Greek God, with more money than the average millionaire which is not a bad thing. What was bad about Jose, was
that his Parents raised him to believe that he was better than everyone else. All that changed when Fidel Castro took Power in Cuba and nationalized all of America’s interest on the Island.
Castro was not prejudice, he took away whatever the Rich Cubans had also, including Jose’s Tobacco Plantation and Manufacturing facilities, his Yachts and Mansions. Jose and his family was now penniless and running for their lives. Dylan puts it best “once upon a time in your Prime you dressed so fine and you throw the Bums a Dime” now Jose was down and out in Beverly hills flat on his back scrounging like the Bums he threw dimes at. My Cousin was a fine Seamstress who designed and fabricated clothes for many of the upper crust in America. The good hearted soul she was married Jose thinking that she could nurse him back to life. Big mistake, when he was rolling in Dough it covered the ugly little man he was. Now poverty had undressed a Bum. He refused to work and pick himself back up to where he had been. He was now a beaten broken little man whose ambition was left in Cuba. Nonetheless he still possessed his feelings of superiority, while he took handouts from his hardworking wife.
I know that he still taught he was better than everyone else when Richard Nixon gave a speech on television while he watched and snickered calling him a little piece of shit. I thought to myself if he felt that way about Nixon, what of me. The world is befuddled thinking that rich and privileged people are better than us little shits. I have taught of Nixon to be many things, but not in Jose’s view. For that matter no one. But that’s how it is when your parents allowed you to grow up thinking that your shit don’t stink.Raising your kids to think like that poses future problems for them, society and you. During my lifetime I was fortunate to have met two men whose combined worth was one Billion dollars neither of them made me feel that I was any less than they were . One of them was one of the original owners of Radioshack, he confide in me that when both of his sons graduated College, he gave them Jobs at the bottom of his Conglomerate to teach values and humility. That’s what Parenting is all about, not giving them office’s next to him on thirtieth floor so that they would think that they were Royalty and have the same attitude as Jose. Life is short and unpredictable, the same wind that took you up can bring you down. That is why I try to live my life in a manner that God would be proud of me. Don’t forget that he made Man in his own Image. It would be cold of me not to tell you how he ended it all. He chased every skirt in the streets and every tight pants Boys, he contracted Aids and took his wife and his rambunctious attitude with him to the other life I guess that he found out too late that change is good. May God rest his Soul.
When I was a teenager I thought that growing up meant being free of my mother’s constant nagging about the person she wanted me to be. A proud Man with values that others would admire. Having respect for my fellow man, not hurting anyone directly or indirectly, not stealing or cheating, to be precise do unto others as you would have them do to you. All through those turbulent teen years it never occurred to me that what Mother was doing was prepping me for the life ahead of me. She was teaching responsibility to an oblivious teen who could not wait to be an adult and do all the bad things that adults do, like too many sex partners, excessive use of alcohol and drugs. It never occurred to me that they were wasting their lives and killing themselves. I once worked with a twenty one years old man who had heart murmur from the amount of coke that he ingested from seventeen to twenty one. Can you imagine a young man with the heart of an old man. I also met a Man who didn’t know the names of all his children, he had so many with different Women. Yet another man who drank anything other than milk or water and his stomach would bleed, from all the alcohol he drank .
All this boiled down to responsibility, something that too many adults lack. Immature and irresponsible they know how to scratch the itch but nothing about parenting, I would need a calculator to tabulate the amount of men that I have met in their forties and fifties with the mentality of a fifteen year old. Looking back I thank mom for all the nagging. Of all the misfits that I have been unfortunate to meet in my life, I must say mother did her Job raising two Boys by herself with great success. Neither one of us posses a compulsive obsessive disorder, both good husbands and fathers, world class citizens who respect all of God’s Creatures.
Parenting comes easy for me, lead by example and pass on values through the way you live your life, it can’t be taught. Trying to teach values and living your life in a gregarious manner is contradicting.
The other day I noticed a young man with two young boys heading to the Beach, in one Hand he had a twelve pack of beer in the other was an opened can that he was sipping from. The message he was sending, public drunkenness was against the law but cool anyway, how contradictory. It’s the same when you invite a bunch of friends over, everybody gets shit-faced and trash talk when the kids are within earshot. That’s irresponsibility , kids are like sponges they absorb their Environment. Once I was sitting at the kitchen table with my friend’s wife having a conversation when her eight years old son could not get her attention he vehemently declared mommy you are a Bitch , instead of slapping his face and giving credibility to his vulgarity, she asked him why he called her that. He staunchly replied Daddy said that you are. It appeared that he and his dad had a conversation about something that his mother told him he couldn’t have and his response was, don’t mind her she is a Bitch. Like I have said over and again, anyone can make Babies, but we all don’t posses the level of responsibility to be Parents.
This is the part of working in the Resort business that I love. Meeting people from all walks of life, from all over the world. Today I met a Teacher on her Honeymoon, the conversation started with my Nametag, to where I was from, to parenting to Marriage. On the latter she wanted to know the secret of a long and happy marriage. I began by telling her that I have been married for thirty seven years, also that without fidelity, communication, respect, giving and taking I would not be here thirty seven years later giving advice. Next the subject of parenting ensued and how many kids I had also my secret to their level of consciousness. I began by telling her that by being interactive in their lives by setting guidance, interjecting values and telling them to select their friends instead of being selected. She was glued and mesmerized, I was rattling off with the advice. Then I broke the secret that I Blog about all we just discussed. She taught I was pulling her leg, went to the Site and was now a fan.
Even though I was enjoying the conversation, I thought to myself I should be moving on I had work to do that the shift before did not accomplish, also she was a newlywed that probably wanted to go upstairs and get busy.
Then she hits me with what do you think about Android Babies, children given the most expensive of Devices to fill the void of parenting and not interacting in their lives. I said to myself oh my Lord, she just opened up a can of Worms that would take the entire Honeymoon to properly address. I thought, how can I put it in a nutshell quickly. My response, Children put in a position of raising themselves is equivalent to when I was growing up being raised by a single parent who had to work so we could eat. We were called latch key children, when we came home from school there was no one home for hours. We either prioritize by doing homework, cleaning up our mess and probably start preparing dinner so when she gets home there’s little to do. For a weak and misguided child that is a recipe for being a badass Brat. She was not a stay at home mom so there was a lot that we didn’t benefit, from her always being there.
A child in that situation has to grow up fast making sound decisions in how they spent their time and who they choose to be friends with. I told you that when I was fourteen I was smoking marijuana with a twelve year old that went to Catholic school. Both of us were lucky to have interactive parenting to turn our lives around. My mother busted me at fourteen with an ounce of Weed which started intervention. Without her interactive parenting I probably would have been a big Dealer by twenty. That didn’t happen because the Foundation was laid so was the Path filled with values. Allowing kids to raise themselves comes with no small consequence. Case in point a sixteen year old honor student had sex with a classmate, video tape and posted it. When confronted by the school he jumped to his death. I didn’t elaborate to the Teacher so I think she needs to revisit Sks.
Connecting with people is one of the coolest things, encountering someone for the first time and within 10-15 minutes you are talking with them like you know them. Communicating and touching each other’s soul mentality and spiritually. These are the moments that I live for, here I am sitting in the Park at the farthest of six Gazebos, minding my own business trying to create my next Blog . It was noon so people eating their lunch at a Park Bench is common. What is uncommon is that they choose my Bench (my space). Two Ladies walked right up to my Bench bypassing five others, at that point I could have been a Snob or acted in an unfriendly manner, got up and changed Benches, as many would do seeing all the other empty tables but choose mine. They asked me if I mind, I welcomed them, one lady inquired about my camera equipment, being a people person I opened up. I introduced myself and began to tell them that I was a Blogger and that I wrote on my own Website. She asked for my website address punched it in scanned it quickly and asked what do I write about.
Unwittingly she had opened the Floodgates of dialogue, we spoke for a good while about a lot of things. Finally we got around to the subject of Parenting. Then she posed the hardest question about parenting, what do you do with Children that you pour your Heart, Soul and resources into and the underBelly of Society intrigues them more than embracing your Values. My response was lightning, you leave them alone after the umpteenth time of beating your Gums. I elaborated, some people you can perform Lobotomy on and you are not going to change their way of thinking and who they choose to be. She agreed instantly and congratulated me for the insight. It’s almost time to go, they had to go meet her Daughter high up in the RNA’ s Rankings, seemed the daughter worked long hours at the Hospital. So when the opportunity arises to spend time together they jumped on it. I am loving every minute of it, some kids grow up get their Degrees, their dream jobs and Homes and forget, as my mother would say who put them there.
My perception of this Lady was that she was a hardworking woman who had raised her children to the best of her ability, had success with some and not with others. It appears that she had either seen or experienced the heartbreaking trauma of pouring your Life in a child and they turn out to be Bastards that you don’t even know who or what they are. I used to kid my mother that she brought home the wrong baby from the Hospital. Many times it seemed like I was right, the grief that I caused. Some of us kids find their way to the Light and become enlightened to the fact that our Parents aren’t our Enemies. I continued by telling her that when we have done our best and they turn out bad, that those are just blows that life throws at us. Also that it’s for us to deal with it and move forward.
It’s one thing to write about the subject and another to speak up front, up close and personal with one who picked your Brain to see how much you know about the subject that you are writing about. As a parent, been there, growing up badass ,been there done that. That’s why it doesn’t surprise me how people choose to live their lives and who they choose to be. This was one of the best encounter with a stranger. We said goodbye and just like that a bond was formed and I had a new reader on the Site. So there it is in a nutshell people being people and getting along. It’s amazing how we focus on the bad in people and forget to embrace the good when we encounter it. As I said before I could have been a Snob, instead we communicated and touch each other’s lives, isn’t it a shame that the World can’t live like this. ” reach out and touch somebody’s hand and make this World a better place ” Diana Ross.
Guns Don’t kill
Among the most intelligent and the most rational of us mental illness crops up from nowhere, without a warning. It doesn’t even take mental illness to tip some of us off, sometimes a bad day Will do it. With some people a bad attitude is all it takes to send them off in a murderous rampage. With a gun handily available rationality is out the window. Let’s look at crimes of passion and vengeance, these people aren’t thinking about punishment, all they know is something needs to be done and they have a gun. After the carnage back to reality they realize that without having a gun readily available their loved ones or enemies would still be alive. With all the stark reality gun lobbyists never stop pushing the idea of a gun in each household.
The President say that the victims have the support of the Nation. Does he means that we are going to push for higher gun control laws, does he means that we are going to get automatic weapons off the street and out of the hands of every Nut with an ax to grind. The enthusiast waves the second Amendment . After each disaster as the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando the question is asked, how can this be prevented in the future. Getting every automatic weapons off the Street would be a start , only law-enforcement agencies should have them .
When I worked with Mark Harshberger he bragged to me that he owned over one hundred guns, he was an avid activist of the second amendment. One day at work a minor confrontation developed between us, to my surprise he offered me six bullets from his forty five that he carried daily. It was at that point in my life that I realized that guns weren’t dangerous, only the people who owned them. Years later while hunting in Canada with his wife a marksman who have hit bullseye at one thousand yards. Mark was heavily insured while his wife Marybeth having a relationship with his brother, shot and killed him claiming that it was an accident. Yet people like Mark argues that we want to take away their rights to bear arms, he died with his convictions. It behooves me how these activists think, all we are asking is stronger restrictions to the availability of automatic weapons and the ease of ownership overall.
Keeping in mind that the most rational of us gets his pride hurt, out the holster comes the gun as it did in a movie theater in Tampa where a retired police officer involved in an altercation with another patron pulled his gun, shot and killed him in front of his infant child, his wife and scores of other horrified patrons. This one incident left scars on my brain, knowing that cops are trained in the use of firearms and the burdens of frivolously and callously discharging them. If a Cop can pull his gun and fire in a movie theater, where does it leaves the average Nut with a gun. God help us all. The history of people going off the deep end in this country, taking a high vantage point on a building and creating carnage is in huge volume. Look at the Las Vegas shooter, no one knows what set him off and may never know. Regardless look at the arsenal he brought with him, enough to start a war. Forget disarmament, it would cause civil war. All I am concerned with is availability.
The gun manufacturers have to make their profits, only a revolution can bring blind profit and warmongers who have to sell their products or close shop. Never happen, too much money. They don’t care if their products are handed out on a street corner, pretty much the same when junior a family friend, coming home on furlough after boot camp. Traveled through Texas, got possession of a shotgun within a one hour stopover, brings it home, shoots off three fingers that I picked up and put on ice and take to the ambulance who left them behind. Now he was damaged goods, the U.S. Army prosecutes him and put him in jail, how about the person who sold him, eighteen years old. I have seen the damage .
When I was fourteen across the street from my house, A Detective came for a neighbor of mine, dead or alive, the man choose death charging the officer with a machete. The officer aimed to save the man by taking a lower shot to the groin, slow death waiting for the ambulance. Still fourteen going to the funeral of two brothers who were gunning for me for beating their baby brother badly and embarrassed him. The brothers both caught sixteen bullets each at a party that I had planned to visit ,their faces were dimpled with bullet holes. That’s how bad men end in gang warfare, I was in the middle for a short period. Don’t tell me that Guns don’t kill. At fourteen I made the decision, never to own a gun, one reason is if you kicked my ass and I know where you live, I would go home get my gun and shoot you. Everyone shouldn’t have a gun, I was true to myself. Those inalienable rights were given to the settlers to protect themselves from the Red coats and the natives. So put that in your Tea Cup and sip that.
Our Prisons are overcrowded with people serving time for what could be considered nuisance crimes, failure to pay child support, Dui, possession of a controlled substance, possession of a small amount with intent to distribute, shoplifting, petty theft, and so on . Such prisoners instead of being fined and on probation are taking up precious space for hard core offenders who needs to be off the streets. Career Criminals buy their freedom all the time with Criminal lawyers who knows how to work the system. The big disgrace is, the failure of the System to protect defenceless Children from their whacked out parents and the child welfare system nation wide. Every day you read about some poor Child dying in the care of unfit parents. People who should not even be entrusted with the care of Dogs and Cats, yet the child welfare agencies go to these homes and leave Children in visible danger in a House of Horror, to return and find the innocent and defenseless Corpse of one more case that they bungled.
And the beat goes on. It was sweltering in the bedroom of the Largo Fl. Mobile Home the day a child welfare case manager visited in July. Yet she left 8-month old William Hendrickson IV there with no air-conditioning and in the care of an erratic father, who had been refusing to take his (medication) noticed the word not medicine . Hello, ding dong, is anyone out there paying attention. A Mobile Home without AC is an Oven , a Nut that doesn’t take his medication is a time Bomb, if he can’t take care of himself how is going to care for an Infant. Yet the agency failed to take action. There was still time to save the child when a call was made to the Florida Abuse Hotline later that day. However the Hotline operator mistakenly marked the call as a non-priority case. It wasn’t until the next morning that child protective investigators arrived. By then the infant was not breathing and his two year old sister was severely dehydrated. I once heard a man say that Education makes fools out of people without common sense. Many who holds these Jobs have a Degree in Social Science. A State investigation into the death of the infant found multiple failures on the part of the child welfare system that left the boy in a Room where Police investigating the death recorded temperatures of 109 degrees.
Are these people mentally deficient leaving an eight months old infant in that Oven, do they have Children, do they have a conscience, do they believe in God or the almighty Dollar. Holding a Job like that just to make a Buck is downright scary, dangerous and criminal. Investigators found the case manager who visited the home one day before the child’s death failed to take needed actions. The abuse hotline operator failed to code an abuse report as immediate which would have sent investigators to the home within four hours. Why four hours, this was a 911 situation, other 911 calls are handled with immediacy aren’t helpless infants in a situation like this a priority. The case manager and her supervisor failed on several occasions to escalate the case to the State Attorney’s Office when it was clear their safety plan had broken down out of fear of embarrassment and callousness. The two children had been under the watch of a case manager since January, as a result of ongoing Drug use and domestic violence between the parents. In an effort to keep the family together, the couple were receiving in home services to improve their parenting skills. That safety plan included random drug testing and three surprise visit a week to the home. You don’t need a PhD to know that the inept Bureaucracy were playing Devil’s advocate with these children’s lives and that they dropped the Ball. All I can say in conclusion is suffer not the little Children for theirs is the kingdom of God.
P.S. anyone can make Babies, not everyone can be Parents, also not everyone should be put in a position of Trust. May God help the unprotected ones.
How they grow up is all up to you
Moulding your children does not mean creating a carbon copy of you. It means shaping, creating structure and adding values to their lives. Being controlling overbearing and a Dictator robs them of their individuality. No one has the right to deny one’s individualism, not even a parent. Your job is to cultivate them to be the best they can be as an individual thinker. Your ideals can of the greatest Christian teaching, but we all have faults, it’s for us to highlight their shortcomings to them and allowing them to repair themselves. By constantly browbeating and berating, all that does is to create resentment and Rebellion. Don’t forget that God made Man in his own image, look around you and see how many of us walk in his teaching, loving our neighbors and following the other nine Commandments. If he could not bring out the perfection that’s within us . What makes you think that as a Parent we can have success with our Offsprings all the time. Remember that you can lead a mule to the water, making him drink is another story. People will always be who they are. Even though they carry your genes there can be night and day contrast in personality.
Don’t forget Freud had a hard time putting it all together, it didn’t come to him overnight, you never know what a mind is going to gravitate toward, good or bad. You can perform Lobotomy on some people and you still aren’t going to change their thinking. Your heroic efforts are noted, but all you can do is show them the way and hope that they gravitate to your teaching. Several weeks ago one of my coworker slept while her fourteen year old was out four am with his friends stealing cars and racing them at speeds exceeding 100 mph. They were part of a click who played Devil’s advocate video recording themselves and Posting it on Social media, three of them died that Sunday morning. I will say it again Lobotomy can’t save some people. If your life has been charted ill- fatefully only the hand of God can alter it’s course. And on the other hand the Lord helps those who help themselves. If you don’t teach them values and put structure in their lives and when they choose to live on the fringes of death and insanity, then the inevitable happens don’t ask why me Lord.
It goes back to the first two people on earth they chose to listen to the voice of the Serpent who represented evil, it continued to the the young Farmer who killed his brother out of jealousy and It never got any better to the point where Jesus had to lay down his Life. All this and you expect me to be amazed at anything that people allows themselves to become. you can invest a lifetime of teaching and Money in a child and they choose to be exactly who they choose to be. When I was fourteen years old, I smoked Marijuana with a twelve year old kid who went to Catholic school he introduced me to the finest Weed grown in every corner of the world. So don’t tell me about Public Schools and Home Environment, his Parents were top of the Heap, upstanding citizens. It’s amazing how both of our lives paralleled, we both could have turned out to be big time Drug Dealers but instead we both grew up straight and strong. What good would it have been if we both became Kingpins, but in the process we lost our Souls. Remember, we are going to be who we want to be, don’t forget that we are individuals, individual thinkers and no one can tell us at fourteen that we are stupid. The only double edge sword in Parenting is when you don’t try to show them the way how to let their lives take shape, when you allow them to run amuck without a Compass, then it’s all on you.
I Will Always Be There
You are young and in school, you meet mr right, your heart tells you so. Things get hot and heavy, bam you are pregnant, you marry him all is well and good, it’s the logical thing to do. Baby is thriving well, it’s time to go go back to school. His male dominance surfaces, I would prefer if you stayed home he utters. I will always be here to provide for the family. Magnanimous gesture for sure, nonetheless finishing your education is as tangible as an insurance policy. Matter of fact more so if his testicles leads him from you. I have been married for thirty seven years, never once unfaithful, had many opportunities though I stayed the course. Whenever one of my friends got busted in their extra curricular activity, all I hear from her is, Men are Dogs.
I say to myself, not necessarily so they just think with their shortcomings. A childhood friend of mine with a beautiful loving wife, taught that his Joystick was too much for one woman. He had a woman in just about every State, he was away from Home more than a Traveling Salesman. The grief he caused this Woman, also a friend, her mother cared for me like a son. I had no choice but to distance myself from him. I hope you are following my drift. Not all men is led by their Joystick. I stayed true to my wife and have no regrets for not being a Dog. There are so many contingencies why he may not be there for the long haul other than being unfaithful, it is of the utmost for you to be able to provide for yourself if the day comes. Another friend of mine had a good marriage and a nice family, his wife however was an overbearing woman who taught her job was to mold him into the perfect Husband, always correcting and criticizing. One day he packed an overnight bag, telling her that he was working on a project that had to get done. No one had ever seen him again, nothing in this life is guaranteed.
Early in my Marriage I once told my wife that she was driving me crazy. Her response, it’s a wife’s job. No one knows what the future holds for us, that’s why you need to cushion yourself for whatever life throws at you. Janice was sixteen years old when she hooked up with an older M…